Spoiler Alert. This movie is not based on actual events as I had initially thought.
I wasn’t sure what made this film more unbelievable, the fact that regular, everyday machines like a coffee maker can turn into intelligent, human shaped machines AND all of a sudden they have guns!? (Where did the guns come from Michael Bay? That section of the percolator apparatus that is so cleverly hidden by Mr. Coffee’s polymer composite exoskeleton?) OR....the fact that Megan Fox’s character would ever be with a guy like Shia LaBeouf. I mean, he’s cute, but not THAT cute…and he's kinda small…maybe if he was really nice and he....never mind... Anyway. I sat down for what I thought would be a gentle tour through our planet’s mysterious history and was left considering the fact that the Deceptacons should have totally won that war! What were they thinking!? Their battle strategy was completely unorganized. The execution of whatever strategy Megatron and Starscream had concocted was premature and completely telegraphed and the unveiling of that secret weapon thingy was so sloppy I think I could have destroyed it with a sling shot and a well place ball-bearing with the sun shining directly in my eyes! I was totally rooting for them and they blew it. They had the last twenty minutes to shoot and kill Sam and Megan Fox and they couldn’t get the job done.
Hopefully they go back to Cybertron and think “Why is this in my life and what’s the lesson from it?” Maybe then they will actually have a snowball’s chance at finally beating those evil, controlling Autobots.
Here are some Transformers.... 80's style.
Cybertron (home sweet home)
Megatron (The Do-Gooder)
Scantron (usually Transformed into a C or C+)
Those pesky Autobots!
and the Evil Genius himself...
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