My Dentist Visit: A Crowning Achievment

It cracked years ago but never hurt. The only real issue was that it made the occasional tongue bite a bit more severe. That and some extra flossing but it was never really a problem. No cavities, no sensitivity to hot and cold. Yet for some reason I decide to have my upper right molar "fixed" the other day. Just for fun i guess...

I showed up a little early. Normally I would've gone and gotten something to eat to kill some time but since I had already flossed, used mouthwash and brushed my teeth in hopes to not be completely judged by my Dentist, I sat quietly in the waiting room reading Entertainment Weekly.

I

I saw a "Murph" here

After a short wait I was called in. I walked into the "operating room" and immediately noticed my x-rays prominently displayed, fillings a blaze...I shuddered and sat down in the chair. After some small talk with the hygienist about the Coca Cola museum in Las Vegas and both of us confessing our love of soda, Dr. Murphy walked in. blah blah blah, yackety schmackety and he's rubbing some topical anesthetic on the back of my gums near my loser, cracked tooth. He says "You may feel a pinch" and I look to make sure he was no where near my gorgeous rear end. He wasn't. He meant the needle. Shot happens, tooth getting numb and Doc takes off for 10 minutes. I text, send some emails and snap some photos of my surroundings.

lighting by Pelton & Crane

mouth bones

After Murph comes back he gets right down to business and hands me some serious old lady, wrap-around sunglasses. "Put these on" he says and I then make a joke about how "for a second I thought this procedure was in 3-D"! We all have a good laugh, move into some Avatar reviews and the next thing I know my lips are being stretched beyond their limits and I instantly regret not applying some Burt's Bees instead of texting..oh well. The suction tube is placed and I know what's coming next. The drill. The noise never bothers me. What does bother me is the bits and pieces of enamel and tooth fragments flying around my mouth. I can feel them hitting my face and pinging off my shades so I make sure to keep a tight seal with my tongue in the back of my throat, preventing any projectiles from becoming second breakfast.

sucky

I continue to answer any questions with nods and very clear grunts and throat words until the very end of the damn thing when I'm asked a direct question and must answer. I feel bone chips go down my throat and I nearly lose it. Fast forward to the shaping of the root stub where my molar once so proudly sat and the temporary crown is nearly finished. We exchange some pleasantries and after quite a long time of no drilling I humbly offer to return their Blue Blocker sunglasses. They accept them and put the finishing touches on my molar cap.

"hello."

I rinse my mouth, spit into the suction drain and immediately think of that scene from "Finding Nemo" when Gill tells Nemo that "All drains lead to the ocean." and flips him into the funnel sucker. "No way could Nemo fit in there" I say to myself as I drool down my shirt, spitting the last of the bone fragments into the devils mouth.

We chit chat for a bit longer then I make my way to the front to double check on my next appointment and after it's confirmed the woman asks if I want to pay the $420 right now or later. I laugh and say "Later!" she says "can you at least pay some of it today?" So I forked over $210 and moved directly into "Molar Buyers Remorse" if that is even such a thing. It'll be two weeks until the real deal is ready. Until then, i will do my best to avoid the Taffy Convention and The Jolly Rancher Expo in an effort to keep this temporary crown, temporarily in place.