I recently divulged to some friends that I wear shower gloves while cleaning myself in...the shower. They seemed quite shocked that I would admit this fact. I wasn't embarrassed, but I did began to wonder "Are men not supposed to wear shower gloves?" and "If this is true, why shouldn't men's strikingly beautiful bodies get the chance to be as clean as a woman's?" Now, I think we can all agree that not all parts of a man's body are commonly considered classically beautiful. Especially the testicular region of said man. However, I believe we are as equally entitled to pristine, squeaky clean skin as woman are, even if there is a delicate blanket of hair and braun covering that skin.
I will admit, at first it seemed a bit odd to wear anything resembling clothing in the shower but once I let that gentle scrubbing action work it's nurturing magic on the largest organ of my body (talkin' 'bout skin, stay focused here) I was hooked. How could I go back to the "bar in hand" method or see anymore body wash opportunities slip through my fingers and down the drain...literally.
Now there are certain "suggestions" that can help men and women use their exfoliating shower gloves properly.
One, Don't try to put a dry glove over a wet hand. Wet both your hands then your gloves then put them on. Any other way is infuriating and will ultimately lead to unnecessary tugging and pulling of your precious shower mates.
Two, Shower gloves are rough by nature. This is how they scrub off unemployed, lazy, dead skin to reveal new vibrant skin, so keep these gloves away from your yardstick and robin's eggs at all cost! (men only) You might think, "I want my three stooges to be super clean and refreshed for tonight's date", WRONG! You will regret that decision for at least two hours as your better half grudgingly chafes against your underwear. That's what I hear anyway....Women, apply this same logic to "Virginia".
Three, Do not wash your inner butt with your shower gloves. This is funky and just plain nasty.
Four, Although not everyone abides by this suggestion, I would not recommend washing your feet with your shower gloves. Why? Because they are feet. Get out the soap and just use your hands. Toe jam and shower gloves are enemies.
Five, Always hang dry your shower gloves. There are few things nastier than going in for a relaxing tub tub and your shower gloves are cold, wet and most likely smell like Grandma's basement because they were balled up and left in the soap dish or in the corner next to an old, rusty disposable razor.
Stick to these simple tips and shower gloves should add a new, exciting dimension to your refreshing, self-care routine.
You might say to yourself... "Damn, for being so Dirty LA you sure know a lot about the intricacies of shower accessories and how to stay clean and fresh you manly, self-assured blogist you." This is true and quite astute of you. Now shouldn't you be planning a trip to CVS and a date with your shower? I'll leave you two alone....
(she wears a "shower thong" too...sweet)
(shower gloves will not help here, shower shoes will)
(a great place to test your new mitts)
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