That is the question. I think almost every man wants to be able to grow his facial hair exactly how he wants to, although societal pressure and/or displeasure from a significant other usually prevents that from getting past the first week or so of growth. Each time I embark on a journey of facial hair growth there always has to be some excuse. A camping trip is always an acceptable reason to start the process. Impending cold weather or even a superstition surrounding a favorite sports team's winning streak can sometimes work too. Though each time I've tried to grow a mustache or beard without some variation of the aforementioned excuses, it must begin as a joke or "laziness" just to get past that initial development stage. I pretend I'm doing it just for fun, when the reality is I want nothing more than to be able to hold my head high and proudly grow and maintain a robust, testosterone induced expression of my facial follicles without the "Grizzly Adams" nicknames and "porn star 'stache" connotations that tend to follow any sort of respectable growth. Now I am the first to say that the mustache is not for everyone. Those who can grow one, you know who you are. I am against any sort of whispery thin, barely noticeable upper lip felt being called a mustache. There is a certain responsibility to those who have so proudly grown one in the past. We need not take our ability to produce and grow thick, delicious mustaches lightly and although ticklish to many and despised by some it is one of the last true expressions of manliness. Men have body hair. Of course it should be maintained or "manscaped" as they say. However, men are not and should not be hairless and we should not fear the repercussions of our decision to express this to all who care to gaze upon the beauty of a well groomed mustache. Some famous mustaches include, Mark Twain, Albert Einstein, Friedrich Nietzsche, Tom Sellek, Joe Namath, All of the Beatles, Sam Elliott, the cartoon 'stache of Ned Flanders and of course Theodore Roosevelt to name a few. Beards happen on their own, mustaches happen on purpose. It is our duty as men to at least attempt a proper mustache once in our lives. Yes, the first couple weeks just look a bit silly and takes some patience to get through, but once you cut that 'stache out of your two week beard growth a transformation takes place. People notice that you are indeed a man and although jokes may come at your expense, those who ridicule the mustache are merely jealous of it's power and prestige and secretly wish they had the manly prowess to grow one as well. May all men put down their razors and pick up a beard trimmer and rejoice in the liberation of the mustache that wants so badly to be seen and admired by all. And may those who lay eyes upon it revel in it's historical implications of intelligence, creativity, virility and strength! here are some of those aforementioned 'staches... |
The Mustache. To grow or not to grow?
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